The world is about to face one of the strangest and most unforeseen tragedies in history, and no one is paying attention: What happens to libraries with the rise of the eBook?

In high school, I would wander over to the Library once or twice a week, grabbing random books that struck my fancy and plowing through them in the evening when I had free time. I loved the library. It had displays where I could peruse and collections of authors I had never heard of. I could try a book and, if it wasn’t for me, exchange it for something more my style. I always felt odd in bookstores sitting down and reading to see if I wanted something. After all, if I bend the spine or the pages, I felt obligated to buy it.

In recent years, I haven’t taken advantage of the library that much. I certainly used it for research and classes in college, but it fell by the wayside for recreational use. I found myself purchasing books or reading online instead of taking advantage of the library in Boulder. In fact, except for vacations and traveling, I rarely read any books at all.

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Originally published at Worldwide Ace. You can comment here or there.

A few weeks ago, while hanging out with Denise and Jap Daddy, I was dragged to the living room to catch the season three premiere of Fox's popular House MD. Judging from the terrible way in which they advertise for this show, I expected something on the level of the now canceled Tru Calling at best, which is to say not very good. Given that it has Omar Epps, who's greatest film was the limp-wristed yet somehow entertaining Love and Basketball, and the wonderful Hugh Laurie, who, outside of the fantastic British comedy Black Adder, hasn't had a good role in TV or Film since the live action 101 Dalmatians, I was ready to bad mouth the entire series and lambaste my cohort.

I can't say I've ever been into most things that develop a true fandom, and with the way that torificus sometimes harps on House, it did seem that it would fall into this category. But after watching that season premiere, I realized something:

You see, House isn't a very good show. It's the ultimate example of a formulaic show, a group of mostly lackluster characters, and an over-use of medical terminology. The production values and acting are solid, which makes the show easily watchable. The plots are average at best, and often passed the point of believability, but still far more realistic than the massive leaps of faith Star Trek has often required. Despite this, the show is extremely entertaining. Simply because of the attitude.

Snakes on a Plane wasn't a great film in the exact same way that House isn't a great show. They're both mediocre on the surface. It's the attitude that sets it apart. Hugh Laurie is a white Samuel L. Jackson. He's angry, venomous, and always ready with a quip. And despite the average plots, the witty banter is second to none.

In the last week, I devoured the first season on DVD, going so far as to marathon 10 episode one night. House is the perfect junk food television... and I can't put down the bag.

It's time once again for FUN WITH HEADLINES!

CNN Headline: "Record Tolls at Baghdad Morgue"
My thought: "Charon requests four coins instead of two; Dead now screwed."

CNN Headline: "Spacewalker loses bolt and spring"
My thought: "World down to three seasons, groundhog obsolete."

CNN Headline: "Thousands celebrate mass with pope"
My thought: "Doctors say virgin Mary in tumor malignant, not benign."

CNN Headline: "Korean village yields to U.S. base"
My thought: "International intersection now safe, say traffic officials."

CNN Headline: "Timberlake builds club 'cred'"
My thought: "Refuses guacamole on California club at local sandwich shop."

CNN Headline: "Bush assassination movie gets U.S. deal"
My thought: "Only six months in Guantanamo in exchange for naming cast and crew."

MSNBC Headline: "Chinese cars could hit U.S. by next year"
My thought: "Only available in red."

MSNBC Headline: "Staffing concerns raised before Ky. crash"
My thought: "Governor says we should've invested in Astroglide."

MSNBC Headline: "Barbara Walters claims dog talked to her"
My thought: "Refuses to accept she was looking in a mirror."

MSNBC Headline: "Decade after death, Tupac still fascinates"
My thought: "Reviewers state corpse song and dance routine stiff, but entertaining."

MSNBC Headline: "California authorities takes custody of Karr"
My thought: "Stroker and Hoop forced to take the bus."

MSNBC Headline: "Nasrallah: Prisoner swap talks begin"
My thought: "Fox looking to license violent Wife Swap spin-off."

BBC Headline: "Israeli withdrawal progressing"
My thought: "Rabbis angry at wasted 'seed'."

BBC Headline: "Madonna sings on cross in Russia"
My thought: "Eric Idle irate: 'that's my gig!'"

BBC Headline: "Australia rejects Solomons order"
My thought: "Australia refuses to split baby; deemed true mother."

Fox News Headline: "Enraged Saddam: 'We Will Crush Your Heads'"
My thought: "Sadaam barred from viewing Kids in the Hall for remainder of trial."

Fox News Headline: "Photos Given to Iowa Mom Adds Twist to 1982 Missing Boy Case"
My thought: "Chubby Checker now chief suspect."

Fox News Headline: "Duke Coach Gives Athletes Pep Talk Amid Rape Investigation"
My thought: "'Keep your chins up. We will rape again,' says coach."

Fox News Headline: "Oprah Lands 'Coming Out' Interview With Ex-New Jersey Gov."
My thought: "Governor, Public not surprised Oprah's actually gay."

Fox News Headline: "Overweight Girls Suffer in School"
My thought: "Officials claim candy drives at fault."

- For more Fun with Headlines, see the original in all its glory.

For those of you who have missed, and I know several of you probably have, there are major riots happening in the Eastern World (India, Palestine, Pakistan, Iran, etc) over a series of cartoons depicting Mohammed the Prophet in a Danish newspaper. Michelle Malkin has an interesting analysis of the event that is very pro-freedom of speech (the cartoons are republished in full both there and the bottom of this post). I, however, am a wee bit more tepid. On today, Neil answered an email on the topic, with pretty clear, and pretty safe, opinions. There, I feel there should’ve been a stronger and clearer stance taken. Then again, this isn’t an easy topic for anyone.

Firstly, it’s important to have some background on these events. The Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten originally commissioned the cartoon because they felt as though Islam was being tip-toed around. Their argument was that as long as they avoided the issue, there would be a blind spot in reporting. They called for images of Mohammed in cartoon form and published twelve. Danish Muslims protested and eventually received an apology from THE DANISH GOVERNMENT.

SIDE NOTE: You may be wondering why I emphasized this. To me, the government offering an apology for the newspaper is like a school teacher apologizing for one of her student’s misconduct. The apology not only is moot, as it’s not from the offending party, but it’s allowing the blame to be placed on a government which has little to no control on the content of its publications. It establishes a dangerous precedent in which a society can be held responsible for the deeds of a few. For instance, it’s like Columbine High School being held responsible for the attacks on Columbine. It just shouldn’t happen.

When the cartoons were first published, a group of offended Muslims barnstormed across the mid-east with copies of those cartoons and allegedly several more that weren’t published, creating a fervor. Though the Danish Muslims have officially accepted the apology, other Muslims haven’t been as forgiving. There have been arrests in London, attacks and protests across Iran, Africa and all over the rest of the world, boycotts of Danish firms, and a call for cartoons about the Holocaust in Iran (cause obviously it’s the Jewish conspiracy at work). Regardless, this isn’t something that is going away with a mere apology.

If you haven’t seen what the cartoons are yet, I recommend checking under the cut at the bottom of this post, as knowing what the cartoons are is essential to understanding my point.

The claim by Muslims is that the graphic representation of the Prophet Mohammed is verboten. In an attempt to prove otherwise, Zombietime.com has created the Mohammed Image Archive featuring images of the Prophet from across history, both pro-Islam and anti-Islam, including a disturbing church fresco. I still don’t think that argument flies, though it might temper a few people and given them pause for thought.

What’s really at stake here is respect. When Jyllands-Posten commissioned these cartoons, they wanted to make a statement about freedom of speech. What they published were a series of cartoons–several of them amusing, but most of them offensive–that derided Islam and poked fun more at the Muslim world than at the freedom of speech issue they were intended to address. Newspapers know better than to invite attack. This isn’t Howard Stern purposefully antagonizing the FCC; Stern knows the FCC won’t start a holy war.

Islam and democracy, freedom of speech included, are at a head right now. They aren’t mutually exclusive. You can have a democratic Islamic state. Right now, however, there’s little acceptance for such an idea. I know this; you know this; Jyllands-Posten knows this. They should realize that even in the fight to keep our first amendment rights (or whatever bill it is in Denmark) safe from censorship, we must use tact. There are ways in which we can depict Islam and the Prophet Mohammed which aren’t offensive, derisive, and outright racist. The seventh cartoon, depicting a cartoonist looking over his shoulder while drawing Mohammed, does this perfectly. But to produce an image of Mohammed wearing a bomb turban is simply inviting violent response.

I am a First Amendment absolutist. This means that even if I don’t like what you say or how you say it, I will defend, to my death, your right to say it. You could be telling me to burn in hell for being a Jew, screaming racial slurs, and inciting riots in the name of my destruction, and I’d still fight for your right to do so. Even with this intense love of the First Amendment, I know better than to actually stretch the boundaries of good taste.

Perhaps the only saving grace is the irony of Islam’s response. In choosing to fight the cartoons with violence, they’re merely backing up the same stereotypes depicted in the cartoons. There are some Islamic leaders who are intelligently calling for an end to violence and a summit with the Western world to discuss these events and ways to move forward. That these voices be heard is all that we can hope for at this point. What Jyllands-Posten did was irresponsible and stupid, even if their heart was in the right place. Hopefully, the violence will subside and it will be lesson learned. If not, we have paid a dear price for our hubris.

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Originally published at Worldwide Ace. You can comment here or there.

ESPN Headline: "Braves send Estrada to Arizona for pitchers"
My thought: "Diamondbacks now have the best bike cop ever."

ESPN Headline:"Rare copies of Black Sox reports returned to library."
My thought: "Library declines to issue late charges out of relief."

CNN Headline: "Elian Gonzalez celebrates 12th birthday"
My thought: "Declares himself eligible for MLB draft citing birth certificate stating he's 15."

CNN Headline: "Pinochet stripped of immunity"
My thought: "Expected to be voted off next on Survivor: Chilean Dictatorship."

CNN Headline: "Technology helping blind, deaf enjoy movies"
My thought: "Next up, helping people who can see and hear."

CNN Headline: "Mel Gibson planning Holocaust miniseries"
My thought: "The Passion of the Hitler to both gorily portray deaths of Jews and deny Holocaust."

CNN Headline: "Saturn moon geologically active"
My thought: "Still jealous Jupiter moon is sexually active."

MSNBC Headline: "Scientists discover how cancer spreads"
My thought: "Decidedly not an affect of dreaded 'cooties' virus."

MSNBC Headline: "Most home PCs not protected, study finds"
My thought: "PCs now targeted in most NRA ads."

MSNBC Headline: "Coke to offer coffee-infused 'Blak' drink"
My thought: "KKK petitioning name change to 'Wite.'"

Fox News Headline: "Ex-British PM Thatcher in Hospital After Feeling Faint"
My thought: "Band threatens sexual harassment suit against aging Thatcher."

Fox News Headline: "Bush Trumpets Iraqi Economic Success"
My thought: "Now considered best selling Iraqi instrument of all time."

Fox News Headline: "Spokane Mayor Recalled in Gay Sex Scandal"
My thought: "Witness fondly described the mayor as 'best fuck I ever had.'"

BBC Headline: "South Korea fines Microsoft $32m"
My thought: "Gates plans 10% tip for bad service."

BBC Headline: "Bosnia most wanted 'out of reach'"
My thought: "Europe cheers as Bush plans movement of the unpopular country to other side of Siberia."

BBC Headline: "Tehran schools closed due to smog"
My thought: "Militant Kindergarteners claim responsibility for the vicious smog attack."

And this one's just for wholesomedick:
BBC Headline: "Wikipedia tightens online rules"
My thought: "Wales, Wikipedia's founder, suddenly restricts entries to trust worthy sources, avoiding high level of stupid among most internet users."